Friend or Foe?

            When I decided to start a blog I knew it was going to incorporate many of the things I love to do.  I knew I would have entries that would be simple and I also knew I would, every now and then post entries that are more personal and deep.  I’ve never been the type to keep a diary.  I’ve had many attempts but they never fully helped me.  What I always had were confidants, people in my life that I was able to talk to about life.  I guess you could say I had human diaries.  Friendship is a very important entity to have in life.  Friendship is a universal relationship.  It has the ability to be formed between strangers as well as between other forms of relationships (i.e., cousins).  There are many positives that I could mention regarding friendship but unfortunately this post is not about all the positives. 

            I recently experienced a trimming of people in my life.  It happens to the most of us throughout life.  As we grow older we change and with that change the people in your life can change.  It does not cause me too much turmoil but it does bring some thoughts up.  My greatest question regarding this type of situation is how do people identify when it is time to let friendships go? How have I changed in regards to how I am a friend to others?  These questions are not easily answered but what I do know is it takes a lot for a person like me to decide to trim or “cut” a person from my life.  It is especially difficult when it wasn’t necessarily my choice. 

            I think about how I want my future to look.  How I want to teach my future children about friendship.  You can’t continuously try to maintain a friendship if you are the only person trying.  For a person like me who grew up with one sibling and a whole lot of extended family finding friends was never difficult.  I still have amazing relationships with a handful of childhood friends and even greater relationships with a group of girls from high school so I am not bitter for the ones I have lost but I am saddened.  There comes a time when you have to let the other person involved decide how they want the friendship to turn out.  I mean these people were not simple acquaintances, they were close friends but I am only human and I am very vocal in my thoughts and feelings and sometimes others cannot handle the truth. 

            Do I miss specific individuals? Absolutely! Do I feel they care that there is no longer a friendship? No I do not.  How has this affected my life? In great ways but I have learned not to dwell on what’s missing. Instead I have my memories of the time we did share.  This in a sense has helped me grow into a better person and a better friend.  I decided long ago that people are meant to cross paths because they are supposed to teach you something.  I have a friend who has taught me to forgive as well as a friend who has taught me to fight.  I have a friend who teaches me all the time that I cannot do everything for everyone all the time.  Without these individuals I would not be the person I am today.  I feel I trimmed specific individuals from my life because they were not teaching me anything positive.  I was becoming angry and frustrated and it would make me be negative on my outlook and that is not the type of person I am. 

            I try with all of my might to be there for the people around me when they need me and I’ve come to learn that those individuals who are meant to be a part of my life are those who are willing to be there for me as well.  I do not need a hundred friends I only need those individuals around me who truly love me for who I am.  I need individuals who participate in my life and not just call me when they are having their own drama.  People can be toxic and I am so glad for the choices I have made because I feel those choices have brought me to a place where I can see a bright future and it has made me a goal oriented person who strives for greatness.

            Friendship is amazing and universal as long as those involved feel like equal parts.  I am so grateful for my friends and I couldn’t have asked for better!  You know who you are!! Thank you for allowing me to share your life and be a part of your families.  I only pray for good for old friends because in the end there is no ill will towards another human being in my mind, body or soul.  May life be full, happy and satisfying.

            

Ipsy Glam Bag: January Review

For about a year now I have been following quite a few makeup gurus on YouTube and Instagram and one of them posted about the Ipsy Glam Bag.  I looked into it and thought it was a great way to see what other brands are out there in the Health and Beauty market.  I have a monthly subscription ($10) and I receive a new Glam Bag every month.  I received my January bag right after I began this blog so I wanted to begin my first review by reviewing the products sent in the glam bag. So without further adieu here is the review. 

January's bag is a simple canvas bag and
of course with my massive makeup supply I don't necessarily need the bags they send me each month but they are good to use as gift bags later for birthdays or holidays.  The bags are typically this size but range from cute and stylish to something more like this one.  I tend to keep the cute stylish ones and use them for travel to hold jewelry or to separate makeup into color coordinating pouches :)

The first product I tried was the Elizabeth Mott Smooth Shadow Liner in Pearl.  The liner is a nice consistency and does go on smooth which is important if using it on your lower lash line.  You want to be careful using harsh pencils or brushes to apply shadow or liner on your lower lash line because the under eye skin is very sensitive and easily damaged and injured.  I will definitely keep using this pencil but I will probably use it mostly for highlighting the inner tear duct for that added shine dimension when doing a more dramatic eye look. 

The second product is the Apothederm skin care science bright skin serum.  This product is used before applying face cream and foundation.  The label does warn to not get into eyes so when I initially wanted to try it I used a little on the inside of my wrist to make sure my sensitive skin wouldn't be affected by it.  So far it hasn't seemed to affect my sensitive skin and it also hasn't really made my skin brighter.  I can only find the brand online which is fine with me but I would not go and buy a refill because I am very cautious about what I put on my face because of my past skin issues.  The website does identify that Apothederm products are paraben and phthalate free and they also state that their products do not contain pore-clogging or formaldehyde ingredient (information found on Apothederm.com).

The next product is by far my favorite product and that is the MICA Beauty Cosmetics tinted lip color pot in #5 natural.  The lip balm is creamy and has a great pigment pay off for a lip balm.  It is what I have been wearing for work for the last two weeks.  It provides a very natural color but it adds a tint that is obvious but not too obvious.  I highly recommend this lip balm and will be purchasing more colors.  You can find the product here: http://www.micacosmetics.com/lip-color-pot.html

The next product in the bag was a 1.7 oz bottle of Healthy Sexy Hair soy try-wheat leave in conditioner.  If you know me it is apparent that when my hair is natural and not straightened my curls have a mind of their own.  I am constantly trying to find products that allow me to control the craziness.  I have yet to find a product that provides frizz control without using some sort of alcohol based product.   To give you a little background on why I have to be cautious about my skin and why I try to use alcohol free products it all started when I was 19.  I went through a very rough couple of years of bad psoriasis of my skin.  I had red patches all over my neck, face, arms, hands, chest and breast area.  I had it so bad that I would have to call into work when my patches decided to ooze and puss.  It caused me to have bald patches on my scalp and it greatly affected my self confidence in a way but that is for a different blog post :) Long story short I try my best to use products that don't contain alcohol or any product that contains dandruff control as that is where all my problems began.  So I tried this product with caution.  It smells clean and fruity and does not smell like a hairspray although it does have a slight sticky residue that is common with some leave in conditioners.  I am still on the fence with this product but I am still giving it a shot.  I still used a little amount of moose when I used it last so I am not completely convinced that it will provide a frizz control (note: it does not say frizz control on the product) but it may be something I use from time to time when my hair seems to be more dry.  



The last and final product I have to go over is the Absolute! make-up cleansing tissues.  These tissue are so delicious smelling! The package provided was the pomegranate extract tissues and they just smelled so good I spent a minute just smelling the open package.  Again, with my sensitive skin I only used them to remove eye makeup on days that I used heavy eyeliner and shadow.  They work just as good as my Target brand facial wipes but I must say the smell is a nice addition.  I found this product on soap.com for sale if interested in trying yourself. :) 


Well that concludes my review for the January Ipsy glam bag.  I hope I provided you with a little information on the products provided and I do recommend signing up for this services if your interested in trying products from different brands.  I do wish to receive some of the more known and higher brands in upcoming bags (e.g., Benefit) but if I don't I won't cancel my subscription.  I am loving trying new things and it is only $10 a month and worth the amount of products they send. 

Signing off for now and until next time fashionistas!

Sara the Fashionista in Training

Follow me: Instagram - Sarita84_2013

And so it begins.....

This personal blog isn't about just one aspect of my life. It will encompass not only my current weight loss journey but also my love of fashion, makeup, my family, my boo thang and so much more!  For my initial entry I didn't want it to necessarily set this blog up to feel like a weight loss diary but the freshness of what has happened over the last three months is too important to push aside.  So bear with me and please join me in this journey to a fabulous 30 and beyond!!

To start off I started this journey over 2 years ago. I topped the scale at 284 pounds and this is where my journey started. I knew I was placing my life in danger because I have diabetes on both sides of my family and my parents are currently battling the "diabetic" lifestyle. I knew I couldn't keep up with life the way I was if I wanted to avoid those types of health issues. So I decided to start a change.  I gave up all fast food (anything with a drive thru); I downloaded the myfitnesspal app on my iPhone and began the journey of calorie counting. I decided to hold off on joining the gym because I knew I wouldn't go. So for the first month I was 100% honest with my counting and dropped 12 pounds. That just shows how much I was eating and how high in fat the food I consumed was. I then kept going but found the need to have a little cheat here and there. I found myself down 20 pounds within 3 months. Then I joined the gym.  With calorie counting and gym 2-3 days per week I got down to the smallest I had ever gotten that far in my adult life and that was 255 pounds. This is where it got tough. I had difficulty saying no to eating out. Yes, I gave up fast food but it didn't stop me from eating at sit down restaurants on the regular.  I lived the social life of a 28 year old. I drank occasionally and ate out more often then I should and although I tried to make good choices at restaurants I didn't have the ability to say no to invites. 

Overtime I began noticing how my behavior was the product of my environment and I decided to find a way to change that.  I through myself into my studies and worked on being a 4.0 student.  This helped me to say no to social invitations and kept me home more and out of the restaurants.   I also began joining weight loss challenges and trying new workouts and it worked but I had not gotten below that 255 and actually got back to 265. This was around the time I moved back in with my parents.

It was almost my 29th birthday and I had found love and he is the greatest thing to have ever happened to me but I was still in a place where I wasn't happy with myself because I had yet to reach a goal on my weight loss/ healthy/no diabetes journey. My self confidence wasn’t the issue.  If you know me you know I love myself and have never really been the type to hide behind anything.  My weight didn’t define me and it never has.  Yes I had days where nothing felt like it fit and I didn’t like how I looked in the mirror but those were just days they weren’t my everyday life.  I was raised to love myself no matter how I looked on the outside.  I feel this confidence could in fact be the reason it took me to get to 284 pounds to actually make a change.  It took me getting to almost 300 pounds to identify that this was a health issue and it needed to be fixed.  I had a person very close to me work with a trainer and she did amazing so I researched him and his program and I sent the most important email of my life in July 2013. I emailed Dante to ask him for information on pricing and his program and even after composing that email that said "yes I'm ready" I was hesitant.  I had never been so vulnerable in my life. I didn't want anyone knowing what I was doing outside if my own family and James because I knew there was a good chance I'd fail. 

I spent the last month of my 28th year gearing up. I ate out more than I allowed in previous months and decided to start with the trainer four days after my 29th birthday and boy was I nervous! The first night was a fit test and I failed miserably. I didn't find time to eat prior and I had horrible water intake (as usual) so it was already starting off as weak. Following my initial day I was sent a meal plan and exercise plan. I worked out with Dante 3 days per week and went to the gym the other 4 days and did cardio only. I lost 8 pounds in one week and I was hooked! I wasn't just hooked because of the loss I was also hooked to the workouts. Yes they were tough and I looked at the clock every 5 minutes but at the end of them I felt powerful and confident that I could put myself in uncomfortable situations and prevail.

When it came time to look into whether or not to continue with Dante or go on my own with his teachings in my arsenal (of course cost was an issue) I was granted a great opportunity that allowed me to continue with Dante in a group training format with a challenge included. So, for the last 4 months I have been on a journey of a lifetime. I have fallen off the wagon and made bad food choices but I have always gotten back up from those hits and kept going. The hardest part was getting through November and December!

The holidays are tough and I finally looked at my log book with a critical eye trying to decide where I am going on this journey. In the month of December I lost 12 pounds. In November and December combined I lost 20 pounds. I didn't necessarily make "good" choices everyday but I kept my mind focused on making those "bad" choices not as costly, meaning they didn't break my daily or weekly plan. I am never going to preach to the world that this will work for everyone but I can't help but wonder how so many gimmicks are out there that promote losing weight or being healthy as something that doesn't take into account eating healthy nutrient enriched food and exercise. It's simple, if you really want to make a change you'll learn how to do it in the way that suits your lifestyle, although for me the first step in changing was changing my lifestyle because what I was living before was not going to promote or help me get anything done. 

                                                           
I find this as my opportunity to prove myself wrong and everyone else right. Everyone says I can do it and I now believe I can. I am only 9 pounds away from 50 lbs down and only 25 from my first initial goal of 199 pounds (I haven't been under 200 since middle school!).  I go to the gym even when I don't want to, I eat healthy food and stay mindful that my cheats should not beat me and I go to training every Tuesday and Thursday with the mindset that I am the only person standing in my own damn way.

I will meet my goals and I will live a lifestyle that will prevent the health risks that plague my family. I will be a motivator for those who need motivation and I will be the truth speaker for those who need a reality check. I am known for speaking my mind in this moment in time I am empowered not only by what my mind can push through but what my body is showing me it can do (I actually RAN a 5k without stopping and have signed up for a 7mile run in March!)

In conclusion this blog is going to be about me, my life, my journey, my likes and dislikes and I hope you enjoy the ride with me :)


FashionistaSara (my new name given to me from the amazing Dante) J